You are cordially invited...

While the Tazer was taking in the post-crowning afterglow at the Civic Center last evening, we got to chat with our old pal John Geluardi...

Seriously, John, we'd like to know what you really think about journalistic impartiality...without having to call us "political scumbags." We much prefer to think of ourselves as the new muckrakers of the day, except that we're probably a little more optimistic about outcomes. Richmond has the potential for greatness IF it can overcome its problems.

Having a whole newspaper in which to play is what some would call "old school." It's 20th century technology: molecular, palpable, and slow. We at the Tazer find it quaint, and yet we're all still old enough to appreciate spreading a paper around the dining room table over coffee and toast. Even now, our copy of the Times is in the breakroom, ruffled from repeated viewings.

The Tazer, on the other hand, is 21st century technology: electronic, ethereal, and rapid. Even the Times has an online edition, which can supply breaking news and updates...that the next print edition has to wait for, if the information is still relevant.

Contempt for blogs is nothing new, and I suppose we can diagnose the source. Journalists are supposed to graduate from journalism school, pay their dues in the ink mines, and then maybe claw their way up to doing illuminated manuscripts with the other scribes. That's molecular, palpable, and slow.

But bloggers, shucks, they have it easy! Sign up for the thing, type whatever they want, then click the button that says "Publish." No need for degrees, experience, or even intelligence. That's electronic, ethereal, and rapid.

"Well, harumph harumph, that's NOT publishing!" says the journalist. "It happens TOO fast! Where are their credentials and did they graduate from Columbia!? Who checks their facts!? I will not STOOP to the level of these nameless nobodies!"

REALITY CHECK: Back here in the 21st century, information moves faster than the paperboy can throw it.

Yup, that includes the City of Richmond, too.

So, John, it's not that we don't like you. You've written lots of great stuff and we appreciate your contributions to Tent City, but when you can't seem to contain some of the biases you may have, we can't help but point it out. Like you said, we're nobodies, so if an AP Stylebook and journalism creds aren't hiding things well enough, what does that mean, it's OUR fault? Of course not. The byline on "Green era begins for troubled city" says "John Geluardi" on it.

Again, to clarify, and paraphrasing Tazerville regular "Roscoe P. Coltrane": You felt the need to point out NOT that Gayle McLauglin is white, but that her opponents were black. "Does he and the Times do that for everyone he writes about, or just black people, or just opponents of his candidate?"

We'll let you elaborate on whatever you'd like. Go ahead and leave it in the comments, then we'll publish it.

And no need to call it "stooping" or otherwise reducing yourself. You HAVE to sign your name to what you write in the Times because it's a publication of record. We are but a blog and we like it that way. No bylines, no deadlines, and all we have to do is read the news and comment. Still, we're not afraid to publish opposing viewpoints or clarifications, so here's your big chance to tell your side of things.

The Tazer doesn't pretend to be journalists, yet we're still interested in the truth. We're opinion driven, first and foremost, unabashedly. But in the end our ultimate product must be accurate and unflinching.

Which is also why we remain anonymous. We're everywhere, including positions of responsibility in the City of Richmond. Inside and outside City Hall, the Tazer is both hailed and cursed, but we keep our identities secret all the same. It's for our own good, as well as for our loved ones. The Tazer is our outlet, our torch for shining light on the truth, and some people REALLY don't like the truth.

Seriously, John, you met us and didn't even know it, but we said it was good to make your acquaintance and we meant it.